2. Onn

Community, combination, sexuality, vigor, one degree of separation

Tree: Gorse (Ulex spp.)

Letter: O

Image from Wikipedia Commons

We often draw upon our community for support. Community is not just the people around you: it is the entire ecosystem that makes up your daily life: the place where you live, love, suffer, celebrate, and sleep. No person is an island. Onn signifies the meaningfulness of your surroundings and recognizing what connects you to the immediate world outside yourself. You fit into a niche — look into the ways you have adapted to find where you fit.

Onn isn’t necessarily the conscious recognition of your ecosystem and it does not mean you ignore the disturbing and problematic aspects of the people and factors within one degree of separation of your life. Contentment is a careful balance of taking in the good advice and help of others while knowing and enforcing the limits of how much of your life you share with the outside world. For instance, just because you have a strong sentiment, valid opinion, or scintillating secret does not mean it absolutely needs to be shared with your best friend, your mom, your mate, or your lover. There is great power in reserving information about yourself for yourself alone. Some emotions, insights, and secrets just aren’t meant for everyone, and to maintain the vitality of your truest connections with other people, knowing when to keep your mouth closed is beyond the price of rubies. There are also times when the truth must be told, no matter what. Acknowledge both the nature of truth and that there is some information that certain people in your life will never be ready for — you must think deeply of what to share and what the possible results will be. Proofread the dialogue of the novel that is your life before it escapes your lips.

Questions when you draw Onn
-Pick three people you encountered within the last week. Now choose three adjectives to describe them. What does your choice of adjectives to describe them say about YOU and the way you perceive and deal with other people?
-What is the latest thing you’ve told someone you when probably should not have told them? What is something a person needed to know that you messed up on and forgot to tell them?
-What are three of the funniest things you’ve ever said or done?

Onn ill-dignified excess: Over-saturation
Exhaustion is the inevitable consequence of over-involvement. Perhaps you are so overcommitted, you are turning up late or missing appointments. You’re a bit too popular right now and you need your rest. Perhaps someone who sees you as competent in some area — a family member/members, an organization you are involved with, your boss and co-workers — is asking far too much of your time and energy. Whether they know it or not, they are squeezing you dry until you have nothing left to give. You need time for yourself. Don’t be afraid to be very firm with your own boundaries. You can do this and still remain civil and polite; if they can’t handle a polite “no” without getting mad or upset, that is entirely their problem and not yours.

Onn ill-dignified dearth: Thirst
You may be too dependent upon getting the approval of others. Needing to be a big fish in a small (or large) pond comes from a fear of inadequacy that cannot be sated by public recognition. Get to the bottom of where your fear comes from.

The same can be true when you believe you need to be paired up with a lifemate in the form of a spouse or monogamous lover, or that you can’t be fulfilled unless you have a child. In both cases, there is an element of thinking a particular sort of intimate relationship will act as a panacea and there are a whole bunch of unrealistic expectations being put upon another human soul. Getting another person infinitely involved (or creating them so they will be involved) isn’t a guaranteed key to solving all your problems — it is entirely possible that all the person will do is distract you until you can find another outlet for your unsolved emotional issues.

Caring what others think can be unhealthy. Are you brooding too much or reacting because someone criticized you? Examine what you believe defines a genuinely good person and then try to live up to your own ideals instead of trying to live out your potentially skewed version of someone else’s ideals.

“Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.”

“Stronger than lover’s love is lover’s hate, incurable, in each, the wounds they make.” -Euripedes

“Loneliness is the universal problem of rich people.” -Joan Collins