3. Ur

Intimacy, gentleness, sweetness, kindness, positivity, partnership

Tree: Heather (Erica spp., Calluna spp.)

Letter: U

Ur speaks of deep relationships, family, mates, and close friendships in both the biological family and non-biological family sense. It is nearly impossible to survive as a true hermit. As much as it can seem desirable at times to cut oneself off from the rest of society, the truth is we are stronger together. One of the immeasurable benefits of a light touch — letting go of small grievances, avoiding childish selfishness, and not letting irritability get the upper hand — is deep and lasting relationships. When you want something, chances are coaxing rather than forcing will get you the result you want… just like the old saying “you win more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” Depending on your personality or mood, sweetness may seem counterintuitive. This Ogham suggests perhaps sweetness/gentleness is the best policy.

Nature is often fantastically cruel but she is also a protector and nurturer. Ur is her nurturing side. Ur teaches the beauty of the long cycle and of the flow that often goes unnoticed by busy, modern people. True kindness improves everything around you. Just as a single common plantain has an important role to play in a many-acred meadow, your small act of graciousness will reverberate and help you to evolve into an improved version of yourself. Don’t underestimate a single time where you checked your temper or did the right thing when you were tempted to do the opposite. Everything you do matters. Everything you do is part of the flow. You are indeed being watched, if only by a more enlightened version of yourself who knows better.

Questions to ask yourself when you draw Ur:
-When has being nice helped me get something I want?
-When has being nice gotten be in trouble?

Ur ill-dignified excess: Saccharine sugar overdose
Have you ever gone too far with people-pleasing to the extent it has ruined your life for a protracted period of time? Being too nice can trap you into dating the wrong person (a person who flatters you and adores you but isn’t right for you), being used up by your co-workers and your boss, and all sorts of messes you could have avoided by just saying “NO”. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind… to others but ultimately to yourself. Being scared to go it alone or being scared of people not liking you can be the driver in a great many bad decisions. Prevent entanglements by saying no, and if it’s too late for that, this Ogham ill-dignified says it’s OK to extricate yourself from those situations. Stand up for yourself even if you have to stand alone; this is part of your learning process.

Ur ill-dignified dearth: Sour and bitter
The opposite of saccharine sweetness is just as bad or worse. “Trust no one” is a fine slogan for a fictional character and not so great when it comes to living your life. Just as you deserve a second chance, so do others, within limits, of course. Treating other people rudely when they are rude to you simply brings you down to their level. If you actually despise rudeness, you will rise above it and refuse to be rude.

“None may build a bridge towards the void in my heart, I’m an island in the sea. If you have to ask the regrets on my part, it’s that nothing comes for free.”
-Queenie, The Dream of Flight

“Enlightenment is when the wave realizes it is the ocean.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh

“What you hate, you imitate.”

The source of love is deep in us and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring that person joy.